My Blog

Look who got into grad school!

I got into Penn! My top choice!!!!! I am officially going to be a doctoral candidate. Phew. I’m so relieved and so excited.

Higher power

I did not make it to high mini last night. Around 4pm, I started to feel nauseous and felt the need to puke. It never went away, so I had to cancel that class. Although I dread this class, I love the feeling afterwards of having an awesome work out. I still felt a little nauseous this morning, I managed to make it to higher power. Higher power is one of the more recent classes I discovered at lithe and has quickly become one of my favorites. Its full body cardio workout utilizing the bands. It’s a pretty difficult class. I was feeling a bit tired and sluggish during the class and due to the fact that I cut two of my fingers on my left hand last weekend, I was having a hard time holding onto the bands. I least I made it out! It does help a lot though that b is waking up early to work out now, so it’s not longer just me waking up to go to pilates.

Mondays and high mini

Let my qualify my previous post. The super healthy eating won’t quite happen until next week. I get paid monthly (and unfortunately, research does not pay well), so I want to finish up the food I have in my kitchen before I go grocery shopping again.

My eating plan for the month of march will not involve restricting myself, making myself eat only 1200 cals a day, or cutting out food groups (which I’ve done in the past). It’s going to be about moderation, trying to eat as healthy as I can when I can, and letting myself indulge when the time is appropriate.  I would like to adopt a vegan life style as much as I can, but let myself enjoy eating whatever when I go out for dinner or have date nights.

I had a relaxing, yet unproductive weekend. B and I watched tons of olympics and made chicken fajitas one night and mushroom risotto the other night. I’ve been trying hard to relax and not think about grad school.  I really really hate the waiting game.

Soo high mini is tonight. I dread this class all the time, especially Krista. It’s a great work out..lots of cardio and leg sculpting moves. But, it is hard and tiring. Krista means business. Every Monday, around the afternoon, I start rethinking going to high mini. I try to change the class to another intense, but not as intense as high mini, class. Of course, I can’t make the change because I don’t want to dinged for a late cancel. oyyy still dreading high mini tonight!

First post

For years, I’ve had a weird relationship with my body. Growing up as a chubby kid, I was always self-conscious about my body. Then in high school, after discovering healthy eating and finding my love for sports, I drastically lost a lot of weight. I spent college battling the freshman 15 and an unhealthy lifestyle that is college. After I moved out of California, I realized what an unhealthy relationship I had with my body. Lots of self-loathing and an obsession with being thin while forgetting about health. My 4 years of living in LA warped my mind to be obsessed with being skinny.

I’m 26 now and am finally learning to love my body. I’m finally not feeling guilty for eating pizza, dessert, french fries,or skipping a work out. I also discovered an amazing pilates studio. It’s pilates based with a bit of cheerleading, dance, and just overall body shaping amazingness. Additionally, I found an amazing guy who loves me for who I am and has never made me feel self-conscious about my body.

So the purpose of this blog? The last 8 months of my life has been dedicated to getting into PhD programs. For anyone who is thinking about applying for PhD programs, please think through it thoroughly..it has been a nightmare…studying during all my non-work time, in hopes of getting excellent GRE scores, spending hours and hours researching and writing, trying to find my perfect program match and then trying to convince the admissions committee why they should accept me. I stopped having a life, I’ve stopped seeing my friends, and I’ve had some sort of break down every other week. I’m now in the waiting period, and it’s wreaked havoc on my life. I’ve been pathetically hoping, whenever I get a call or receive an email, that it is a school inviting me for an interview or offering me admissions. The stress, bitterness, and sense of dread  I’ve been feeling for the last 6 months is finally taking a toll on me. Despite going to pilates 5 times a week, I feel like crap. My body feels like its being poisoned by all the crap I’ve been eating. Now that I’m finally seeing the light at the end of the tunnel, I decided it’s time to get back on track.

I’m going to be using this blog to keep track of what I’m eating, physical activities, and my running training. Yes, I have a ten miler to run in May. It has been about 8 months since I was running routinely. Hopefully, I get into a PhD program, get healthier, and am ready for a ten miler!