First post

February 21, 2010 at 6:16 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

For years, I’ve had a weird relationship with my body. Growing up as a chubby kid, I was always self-conscious about my body. Then in high school, after discovering healthy eating and finding my love for sports, I drastically lost a lot of weight. I spent college battling the freshman 15 and an unhealthy lifestyle that is college. After I moved out of California, I realized what an unhealthy relationship I had with my body. Lots of self-loathing and an obsession with being thin while forgetting about health. My 4 years of living in LA warped my mind to be obsessed with being skinny.

I’m 26 now and am finally learning to love my body. I’m finally not feeling guilty for eating pizza, dessert, french fries,or skipping a work out. I also discovered an amazing pilates studio. It’s pilates based with a bit of cheerleading, dance, and just overall body shaping amazingness. Additionally, I found an amazing guy who loves me for who I am and has never made me feel self-conscious about my body.

So the purpose of this blog? The last 8 months of my life has been dedicated to getting into PhD programs. For anyone who is thinking about applying for PhD programs, please think through it thoroughly..it has been a nightmare…studying during all my non-work time, in hopes of getting excellent GRE scores, spending hours and hours researching and writing, trying to find my perfect program match and then trying to convince the admissions committee why they should accept me. I stopped having a life, I’ve stopped seeing my friends, and I’ve had some sort of break down every other week. I’m now in the waiting period, and it’s wreaked havoc on my life. I’ve been pathetically hoping, whenever I get a call or receive an email, that it is a school inviting me for an interview or offering me admissions. The stress, bitterness, and sense of dread  I’ve been feeling for the last 6 months is finally taking a toll on me. Despite going to pilates 5 times a week, I feel like crap. My body feels like its being poisoned by all the crap I’ve been eating. Now that I’m finally seeing the light at the end of the tunnel, I decided it’s time to get back on track.

I’m going to be using this blog to keep track of what I’m eating, physical activities, and my running training. Yes, I have a ten miler to run in May. It has been about 8 months since I was running routinely. Hopefully, I get into a PhD program, get healthier, and am ready for a ten miler!